What is the image of a father and what does it consist of?

A father is not only a man who was biologically involved in the conception of a child, but also one who takes an active part in the child's upbringing and development. The image of the father plays a huge role in shaping the child's personality and determining his future.

There are three important concepts in the field of psychology: role, figure, and father image. But what is the difference between the two?

The father figure is the man who is the father of the child. He has unique physical characteristics (height, weight, hair color, eye color, etc.), psychological characteristics (character, temperament, etc.) and other traits. All of these aspects are inherited by the child to some degree, whether they are recognized or not, liked or not.

The role of a father is a free choice for a man. Psychoanalyst Luji Zoya rightly points out that "true fatherhood is an active and voluntary choice, similar to adoption". The father must meet the child's unique needs and contribute to the child's full development. It is important that communication and interaction with the father occurs when it is necessary for the child, not when the father feels he needs to be around. A father's mere involvement in the birth and conception of a child does not make him a real father, nor does it guarantee that he will be an important and significant person in the child's life.

The image of a father is a complex internal representation that is formed in a child. It includes features of paternal images from the ancestral systems of both parents, an idealized image of the father created by the child himself, as well as images from the child's real life. This image reflects the child's personal representation, which is formed in the process of interaction with the father. It is important to note that this representation is only a part of the real father, and may not always fully correspond to his actual qualities and character.

The image of the father in our lives arises independently of his actual presence. Different circumstances determine his presence in our lives, but even if the father is absent physically, he is still present psychologically in the family, continuing to exist as an "inner object," a symbol or myth. Also, there are always men around us who can take on the role of a father (coach, teacher, grandfather, etc). They are the ones who create an image of the father in our minds, even if he is absent in real life.

Donald Woods Winnicott (2007) wrote, "The infant can master his own feelings only when he receives reflection from his environment, from his mother and from his father". A child's own image can only be formed when there is an "I" - through the eyes of the mother, and there is an "I" through the eyes of the father. 

Studies of the long-term effects of father absence in adulthood provide strong evidence that father absence has a profound impact on adult mental health. 

The mother's attitude towards the father plays an important role in the formation of the father's image. The mother may create a negative attitude of the child towards the father by detailing his shortcomings and mistakes, as well as belittling the importance of the birth father to the child. This behavior of the mother is usually related to the desire to pay back the father for problems in family life or unpleasant events in the past. 

It is very important for the mom to create a positive image of the child's father that is objective and reflects his good qualities that the child can build on in the future. 

It is very important for mothers to realize that by communicating negative information about the father to the child, they may cause the child to react aggressively towards themselves. 

Thus, "father image" can be defined as "a child's perception of the differences in the psychological qualities of the father and mother that define his or her future personality". The formation of this image begins at birth and is influenced by a variety of factors, including internal and external factors. Internal factors include gender-age and situational projections, fantasies, and external factors include communication with significant others, cultural stereotypes, and interactions with the father. 

A father's love does not arise on its own, unlike a mother's love. It is formed during the first few years of a child's life. A father's love is demanding and conditional - the child must earn it. 

The image of the father is not static: it changes over time, adapting to the new demands of society. Today, more and more men are striving to be more emotionally available to their children, acting not only as providers of material well-being, but also as emotional support and mentors. They teach their children to be empathic, tolerant, and respectful of those around them. 

According to studies by psychologists, the image of a "real father" has pronounced contradictory traits that include both masculine (strength, leadership, desire to dominate) and feminine (kindness, sociability, charm, friendliness) qualities. 

The modern image of the father is ideal in many aspects. He has an in-depth knowledge of parenting and is a responsible parent, yet manages to maintain a high level of activity and work capacity, achieving success in his field of work. In addition, such a father is characterized by high moral and ethical integrity, and his character is interesting and multifaceted.

                                                                                                                                                     -June 2023